Tuesday, August 24, 2010

the sun shines brightest before the night falls....

My Lovely niece ^_^

I snapped this photo with my phone the other day, and I loved how it looked hehe.....I changed it to black and white (-ish) and left the ball original color (which was/is red)

To me the way shes looking off into the distance, it is almost as if she could be pondering life....thinking about what she will be when shes "bigger" as she will often tell me.... Of course the reality is that she was probably looking at a car or a random kid playing but the first example sounds better hehe

I often find myself doing this. I feel stuck in a circle of same things just different days. I often stare out my window at the moon. Some how it brings some sort of peace to my thoughts, even if its only for a minute. Something peaceful, something beautiful, something far away yet still longing to be admired.....okay added the dramatics there but its really how I think..... Haha.

Bleh I could go on babbling for hour upon hours but I won't I will end this with a quote:

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thursday, August 19, 2010

random late nite ramblings of a broken hearted fool

try not to worry about the tears I cry
it will always be fine just as long as you don't say "it's forever" with your goodbyes,
there's no excuse for my selfish ways
and I shouldn't hold you down from day to day
but the feelings in my heart make it impossible to walk away

Confessions of a stupid selfish drama queen LMAO!
I don't always think things through before I say them and today that backfired big time. My inability to fully trust someone (which includes myself) was brought to my attention earlier tonight. I have pride and yet at the same time I'm so quick to run away from a situation..... I have so many scars, so many demons and I have been using them as crutches for way tooooo long..... gah I should be sleeping its 4am ......but nope my brain has decided it wants to dwell on the happenings of the past few hours........ -sigh-
Will I ever truly be okay?
Will I be happy?
Will those I love and care about be happy?
Bleh I am starting to sound uber emo....but whatever I guess its better then holding this shit in until I bawl my eyes out some more ...okay I am done for now goodnight world